I have to be honest, I was going to title this post, "Gisele Bundchen: I Hate You," but then I figured that animosity like that was really the wrong reaction to her recent comments about breastfeeding.

Which, if you didn't already hear, entailed her saying during an interview that all mothers should have to breastfeed. That there should, in fact, be a breastfeeding law.

As I alluded to above, I don't want to judge or be mean, but GISELE, COME ON. Everybody hates you when you say nonsense like that. To her credit - um, I guess - she later posted a retraction on her personal blog. Well. Sort of a retraction, saying that she's "not here to judge."

I'm actually not writing this post to share any opinions about breastfeeding. That I think it's a great thing to do, or that I think moms who choose not to do it, or can't, are totally awesome moms, no questions asked.

This post is actually about Gisele Bundchen and how she needs to stop making everyone feel bad with her annoying little comments (in addition to the fact that she's a supermodel). Like how several months ago she went on the record about how her home bathtub birth didn't hurt at all.

Whether I believe her or not (I don't) isn't the issue. The issue is that we, as mothers, have the capacity to - and maybe have - said things like what she's said. And maybe we have the best intentions when and if we do. Or maybe we don't really think it through. Whatever the case, these holier-than-thou comments hurt people's feelings. People are way hyped up about motherhood. Maybe we need to direct our passions elsewhere, at least sometimes. There are plenty of other issues out there that do need our attention. Poverty, hunger and disease, to name a few. Let's direct our energy to the people who need it most. I'm pretty sure that's not the attentive new mother, who just so happens to be giving her baby a bottle.

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When Nora was born, I was in the house for all of about four hours before I was like, "Wow. I've been in this house a long time! Cabin fever!"

I'm exaggerating, but barely. Luckily I discovered that Yale's center for mothers, WELL/A Mother's Place organizes a Breastfeeding Mothers Support Group on the first and third Tuesdays of every month. I went when Nora was just two weeks old and it was the BEST THING EVER. Sorry for the caps and the lack of originality in that description but, seriously, BEST THING EVER. I got out of the house, I met other moms, I realized they were having some of the same issues I was and I learned some techniques to help me better nurse my newborn. I went every chance I could during my maternity leave. 

WELL offers a ton of other great events and classes (more information is available at their Web site), as well as sells nursing bras, pumps and other feeding and baby gear in their office at 300 George St.

World breastfeeding week runs from August 1 to 7 this year, and to mark the occasion, WELL is hosting a walk to the New Haven Green following the breastfeeding support group meeting on Tuesday the 3rd at 10 a.m. If you'd like to attend, simply register on the WELL site. Lunch and dessert are included.

They are also currently offering 15 percent off all nursing bras and 10 percent off Medela pumps, so stop by the office while you're there.

Bring your baby! Make some new friends! Get some new supplies! And if you're a new mom, truly, make the support group a regular part of your schedule. You'll be so thankful you did.

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I'm a bit late on this piece, published earlier this month, but had to pass it on anyway.

Please take a moment to read this hilarious essay written by Peter Birkenhead for Salon. His message - that there are two distinct types of parents and not much room for the ambivalent among us - is as true as it is funny.

I completely identify. Especially at his line regarding the passionate rage surrounding arguments like home births, co-sleeping and peanut butter: "Couldn't they use all that righteous indignation for fixing the education system?"

My thoughts exactly, Mr. Birkenhead.

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This is a difficult topic for me. Not because I have a tragic story or a huge stake in the matter. In fact, the problem is that I end up siding with everyone. How c-sections are at an all time high and home births are the way to go. Doulas, midwives, doctors, drugs, meditation. I think it's all valid.

I mean, I don't think women should be choosing c-sections for scheduling reasons, or because they're afraid of the pain, but beyond that, I believe everyone has the right to their own birth experience. If you want to have your baby in a bathtub, that is awesome. If you feel more comfortable in a hospital, that is fine, too.

I fell into the latter category, and ended up having an unplanned c-section at Yale when my daughter was born in September of 2008. Despite the fact that I was in labor for many hours and a surgical birth was not what I'd wanted at all, it was, quite honestly, a lovely experience. Shortly afterward, I wrote about Nora's birth on my personal blog. The post includes the whole story (nothing gross, I promise) if you'd like to read about it.

Strangely, I didn't experience any of the guilt or regret over having a c-section that many women claim to feel until now, almost two years after the fact. And to tell the truth, I don't feel much, perhaps because I believe I received excellent care while in the hospital. I trusted my doctors.

But still, there are moments. I wonder to myself, "You know, if I'd skipped the epidural, I probably wouldn't have had a c-section." Or, "Maybe if I'd just pushed harder." 

I realize, on a practical level, that none of it is true. I waited a long time to have an epidural and I pushed as hard as I could. But even if I hadn't, there are more complicated factors at play, and those factors had everything to do with what happened. Nora was face up and stuck under my pelvic bone. Maybe I was one of those people who really needed a c-section. Maybe I wasn't - I definitely believe that too many c-sections are performed unnecessarily. The truth is, I'll never know.

More importantly, worrying about it serves no purpose. Going forth with confidence and peace seems a much better idea.

There is a lot of writing out there on the subject, from every viewpoint imaginable. I just read this piece in SELF's July edition, titled, "Who Controls Childbirth?" and wanted to share it here. It's one of the best articles I've read on the whole childbirth debate, especially as I identified strongly with a lot of what the author said.

People tend to get really up in arms about this subject, which - I must tell you - I find ridiculous. Railing against each other for not only our choices, but even our thoughts about childbirth? Come on, people. So please read with an open mind.

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My husband and I went through a rough patch with morning news shows several years ago. I don't feel right without watching the news in the morning to find out what's going on in the world, and I just wasn't satisfied with my options.

We watched the "The Today Show" for a while until I got so fed up with all the trite segments on nutrition and finances that I swore I'd never watch it again. We watched "American Morning" on CNN for a while, until they switched hosts on us.

My parents had been watching MSNBC's new morning show, called "Morning Joe," with co-hosts Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski, and we took their recommendation and followed suit. It was exactly what I wanted. Mostly politics, no fluff, funny and informative. We now watch that show every single morning while we drink our coffee, as our daughter plays with her toys. This is how the day begins in the McDonough household.

Because we're so attached to the show, I was very interested to read Brzezinski's book, "All Things at Once." I was even more interested due to the fact that the book chronicles her life as a working mother, specifically as a working woman in television journalism, and the challenges and joys that accompany that role.

Reading Brzezinski's memoir got me thinking more than anything I've read in a long time. Maybe this is because I've predominantly been reading murder mysteries for the past five years - whatever - this book had a huge impact on me, and I'll tell you why.

Reading the book I learned that Brzezinski - who got her professional start in Connecticut, including covering New Haven news, by the way - always wanted, well, "all things at once." Work, marriage, children. And contrary to a rather common modern attitude among some women, she didn't feel that she had to wait for one part of her life to take off before she began the next. She got married and had children while working grueling shifts, including an overnight news broadcast. 

Her story chronicles the successes and failures that accompanied her drive to succeed, and how she finally ended up exactly where she was supposed to be, on "Morning Joe."

I could go into the details and do a proper book review, but I'd rather talk briefly about how the book affected me personally. Because, I, too, very much wanted a specific life. I always imagined I'd marry later than I did - at 35 perhaps - and that I'd have children even later. But I happily married at 27 and my daughter was born when I was 30. Ok then. A new plan, no problem.

One constant remained, however. I knew I'd always work. But shortly after my maternity leave ended and I returned to work, writing news for a New York City-based Web site, I was laid off. Suddenly I was a stay-at-home-mom. At first I was frantically looking for another job in journalism. Then I was freelancing, and sometimes very busy, sometimes not. Mostly not.

Despite the challenges it presented, I consider losing my job a fortunate event. My daughter was only a few months old and I would have never considered staying home with her full time. I was thankful for all those additional days I had to spend with her. Also, very importantly, I learned to respect the work - because let me tell you, it is work - that stay-at-home-mothers do.

I learned to schedule our days. I made good friends with mothers who helped me pass the time, and who offered great advice. I became ok with a level of domesticity (for lack of a better, stronger word) that I never thought I would be ok with.

But for all the acceptance and patience and insight I gained, I must admit that I let a little of myself go. And what I let go of was my drive to work. I don't mean my drive to commit myself to a productive and meaningful activity, because certainly taking care of my daughter served that purpose. I mean to work in journalism, the work I've always wanted to do.

Brzezinski's book reminded me of the things I've always wanted for myself. Perhaps more importantly, her story reminded me that I don't have to feel guilty for wanting them.

Time will tell where I will end up, whether it's a return to an office or fulfilling, time consuming and regular work I can do from home, but there will be a career. I believe it's important to feel good about what you do every day, and I believe it's important for your children to see you feeling that way.

For each of us, there is a different road to this level of happiness, and I understand that better now than I ever would have had I not spent these almost two years at home. Mostly, what I know for me - for now - is that it's time to recover a little of myself and find out what's next.

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When my husband and I got married, we were required to attend a session of Pre-Cana counseling with several other couples, because we were getting married in the Catholic Church. Those are the rules, period. And so we happily signed on and I assumed we'd be stifling our laughter from moment one. I mean, were we gonna recite the Rosary together? I had no idea.

However, the day was not only fun and informative, but barely religious at all, as I'd assumed it would be. I'd been worried about how we were going to fill out our registration forms in such a way to hide the fact that we were "living in sin," but nobody seemed to care about the state of our souls. The program was about the logistics, complexities and challenges of being married, pure and simple, and - quite honestly - it was a very valuable experience.

We heard from various speakers about keeping our finances in check, and about being sensitive to our partner's strengths and weaknesses. The part I remember most, though, is when a priest spoke to us about the fact that marriage is a sacrament, and that the reason it is such a big deal in the Catholic Church is that it is really, really hard. So hard that some people can't - and shouldn't - do it. Hence, he was a priest, not a husband.

He reminded us that having children, on the other hand...not a sacrament. And that while it may sound crazy, the most important thing in our lives should be our commitment to each other, not our relationship to our children. Husband and wife. That without a good relationship, the family would suffer.

Now, I realize I'm getting all serious on you, but - putting my disagreements with various aspects of Catholicism aside - I've got to say that I never forgot what that priest said. Not only that, but I think about it all the time, especially now that we have a child, and know other couples with children. I firmly believe that Mom and Dad (or whatever parental situation exists) have to be happy. Otherwise, what's the point?

So I read with great interest New York Magazine's piece on parenting and happiness. If you're a parenting news junkie, you've no doubt heard about this article, read it and maybe even posted a few comments on the magazine's Web site. But if you haven't read it yet, I urge you to do so now. Whether or not you agree with the claims listed (most notably, that parents might be less happy than their childless counterparts, and that relationships sometimes suffer due to having children) the article will definitely get you thinking about your priorities, your issues and the moments that you are most happy.

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First of all, I'm not. Having a second child. Someday, yes - absolutely, I want at least one more child - but for now I am happily a mother to one toddler without another on the way.

But it's something that I think about a lot, partly because once you enter this club called parenthood, well, kids are a popular subject. We, as parents, make this decision (or stumble into this reality) to have more children, as parents have been doing since the dawn of time.

Before I had a baby I never imagined that the timing of subsequent children would be something I'd think about at all. But you guys know how it goes. You experience those fond memories of holding a newborn, somehow glossing over the whole sleeplessness situation. Or, you know, that day that you were wearing your red hoodie for, like, the seventh day in a row and you found that very depressing.

Maybe your friends start having more children and it seems like it would be a good idea to keep up. To go through it all together. Or maybe you simply always imagined your children would be exactly one, three or five years apart, because that's how it was when you were growing up and it was great! Or it was horrible! Let's not do it that way!

I'm of two totally different but equally passionate minds on this, one day thinking that I cannot wait to be pregnant again, just absolutely can't wait! The next day I'm all, "You know what? Let's give this four or five years. I am loving life with my one adorable child and want it to be exactly like this for as long as possible."

Age is, of course, another factor for mothers if you're going the traditional pregnancy route. I'm 32. Not the youngest mother on the block by any means, but I certainly feel that I have ample childbearing years ahead.

There's a lot to think about and, for me, thinking about it isn't such an attractive prospect. I'm a pretty big non-planner when it comes to life events (which, believe me, has its pros and cons) and the thought of discussing the timing of a second child with my husband, when we're not sure what the next year may bring in terms of job prospects and whatever else, sounds like an awful way to spend an evening. I mean, it's hot out. How about margaritas and mindless television instead? 

For those of you who are raising children now, or who have raised your children, how did you make these decisions, and how did the age separation between your children work out? For those of you who haven't had children yet, do you have a specific plan? 

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Cell phones. Cancer. Our children.

Hope you're having a great start to the week!

But seriously, some great information from Maureen Dowd, and good reason to think - once again - about moderation, education and the small changes you can make in your life that might make a big difference.

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Ok, parents.

Spanking. I know! Cringe! Run away! HIDE!

Don't worry, I'm not launching a discussion on whether or not hitting your kids is alright. Quite the opposite. I think, without a doubt, that it's not alright. Where I'm always careful to say "to each his (or her) own," when it comes to other parenting techniques, on this one I'm more apt to say, "You've got to be kidding me. Don't hit your kids. Obviously. DON'T DO IT." 

Sometimes it feels good to make no attempt at diplomacy.

And spanking's just the half of it. The legal details regarding corporal punishment in this country are interesting to say the least. There are stringent rules at many childcare centers, schools and other public locations, but at home, it's trickier, as illustrated by the recent case of New Haven firefighter Dawud Amin, who hit his son with a belt as a means of discipline, and was charged with assault of a minor. You can read all about it in this week's Hot Topic piece.

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I don't consider myself an expert on children's literature, by any means, and I certainly don't consider myself a children's music critic, mostly because I hate it so much, but I'm going to make a recommendation. Just this once.

We read books to our daughter every night. It's one of my favorite parts of the day. I'm sure the ritual will change - perhaps shorten - as we have more children, but for now, just before Nora's bedtime, we all get in our bed and read at least four or five books. Then, in a longing voice, our daughter tries to convince us we should read her a few more as we cart her off to her crib, because as children do, she is learning the art of coercion.

But to my point...one of the books we received sometime during Nora's first year of life is called "I Got Two Dogs" by the actor John Lithgow, and includes a musical CD of him singing the words to the book. I was very skeptical of this CD because, as mentioned above, I like to avoid children's music at all costs. However, Nora's become obsessed with this book in recent months, asking us to read it again and again, and the other day when my husband was watching her, he decided to try out the CD. It's absolutely adorable. And fun, and funny and very catchy. So in addition to reading the book, Nora and I have listened to the CD about 4,000 times this week, and every time it's over and she asks "again?" I'm secretly happy. I actually listened to it all by myself the other day, while she was at day care.

Don't tell anyone.

Here is John Lithgow talking - and singing - about the book, which you can buy on Amazon.

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